I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
