16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I deserve this hangover.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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