Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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