and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
