I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
