I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
