is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize