bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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