The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize