ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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