Porn is love you can see.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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