plz talk dirty to me
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
