U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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