Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
