everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
