i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
