We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
