he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
