she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
