I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
