is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
