I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
