is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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