Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
