i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
