Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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