I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
