i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
