I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
