I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize