i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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