After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
