I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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