It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
