I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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