well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
