You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
this just has baby written all over it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
