Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
