so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
