i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
