remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize