I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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