It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
