I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
