Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
