a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The air was thick with penises
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
