how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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