During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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