I'm eating all of the evidence.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
What drink are we having for lunch?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
