your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
