Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
