I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
