So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
