Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
