No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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