smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
