i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
