and you said cock pushups were impossible
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
