Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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