absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
