Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
